When the mind disassembles

My Story, Mar '16

Dementia is the focus of Pallav Bonerjee’s next in a series of personal narratives on psychology, people and destiny

Many of you will have encountered this nebulous term called ‘dementia’. Unfortunately, it is becoming a rather familiar term these days. Dementia is a collection of symptoms essentially as a result of a chronic degenerative disease of the brain. These symptoms can include disturbances in memory (short-term memory), orientation and comprehension, calculation, learning capacity, language, thinking and judgement. There is currently a great deal of academic and clinical interest (both national and international) in trying to find a cure for this disorder, which mostly affects the elderly (typically, post 65 years of age).

Graphic credit: Pallav Bonerjee, Prosenjit Pal

The most common cause of dementia is Alzheimer’s disease, which was first discovered in 1906. Since then we have had over a 100 years to identify a cure and we haven’t been able to reach there yet. Just to give you a picture of the magnitude of its impact, currently around 35 lakh people in India have Alzheimer’s dementia. It is estimated that this number will double in the next 15 years. According to the February 2016 issue of TIME Magazine, “Globally, nearly 50 million people are living with dementia, most of which is caused by Alzheimer’s and in the absence of effective drugs and other interventions, this number is expected to double every 20 years”. Now, that is not a pretty picture.

Twist in Section 377 saga!

My Story, Feb '16

Vivek Divan on his mood swings as the Honourable Supreme Court of India decided not to reject the curative petitions against its December 2013 verdict on Section 377, Indian Penal Code and referred them to a Constitution Bench for possible reconsideration

At a gathering of queer people and allies at the Academy of Fine Arts,
Kolkata on February 1, 2016 evening. Photo credit: Pawan Dhall

I’ve become a poor predictor of these things. As one of the core team at Lawyers Collective who strategized and filed the Naz Foundation (India) Trust’s petition against Section 377 in 2001, I was full of optimism about its outcome then though I knew it would take a while. I got more pessimistic as time passed and the case went through the quirks of the justice system. But lo and behold! We got a great bench of judges in the Delhi High Court in 2008, and won. When the judgment was appealed to the Supreme Court of India, I was convinced we couldn’t lose given the great praise that was heaped on the Delhi High Court judgment by law schools and legal experts in India and around the world. And, even after witnessing the way in which the Supreme Court heard the case in 2012 (gingerly, with evident discomfort) I couldn’t imagine we would lose; the Delhi High Court judgment might be watered down, but we would remain decriminalised, I thought. After all, apart from the celebrated High Court ruling we also had a very strong legal case, a government that had no objection to the decision, and a bunch of opponents who had religious bigotry, and arguments based on hypocritical morality and bogus ‘data’ on their side, but little in terms of legal arguments. And, of course, we lost.

Reconnecting – please don’t wait!

My Story, Jan '16
Continuing a series of personal narratives on psychology, people and destiny, Pallav Bonerjee writes about his epiphany of the New Year – the secret to a good life

The New Year did begin with a bang. We had barely recovered from celebratory hangovers and sat down with our new list of resolutions and there was already a parallel list of incrementing stressors, setting in a flavour for the times to come. Delhi’s toxic air was crowned once again as the worst possible in the world. This led to a new ‘odd-even’ formula for taking cars out on the streets for the first 15 days of the month in the entire National Capital Region. This led to many interesting discussions, jokes, fan fare, heated debates and public opinion polls. Eventually, we gave in and settled down.

Changing houses (and perspectives)

My Story, Nov '15

In this chapter of a series of personal narratives on psychology, people and destiny, Pallav Bonerjee holds forth on the virtues of moving house – across localities and cities

Author (right) with his sister in childhood. All photographs
shared by author from his family albums

My earliest memories of changing our residence belong to a time when I was all of six years age and lived in Calcutta. My world comprised of my parents, a younger sister, grandparents and plenty of cousins. Life was perfect. My sister was in pre-school and I was in class one. We had made some friends in school. And then, all of a sudden, we got news that my father would have to transfer to a city called Raipur in Madhya Pradesh (now the capital of Chattisgarh). Being young and ambitious, my father had said “Yes!” My sister and I were told that since he was in a transferable job, we must get used to such changes. It would help us ‘in the long run’. At six, I had no idea what that long run could have meant. Though I have no distinct recollection, I’m sure I must have tried to dissuade my father from going ahead with this ‘opportunity’ citing reasons that ranged from “How would we manage without speaking Bengali or eating Bengali food?” to “What would happen to all our friends and cousins without us?”. It didn’t help.

Reflection

My Story, Oct '15
Pratulananda Das shares how mathematician Alan Mathison Turing’s life story inspired him to come to terms with his own sexual orientation

All photographs provided by Pratulananda Das

I remember the day vividly when I could not keep my eyes off the young man working in a paddy field. It was drizzling and my younger brother and I were huddled together under an umbrella on our way to school. As I grew older I realized something was ‘wrong’ with me. That puzzled me. I felt frustrated that I never had an explanation for my lack of interest in girls, while the simplest of ads showing a man in his briefs would attract me for seemingly no reason. I guess being born in a conservative Bengali family did not help much in terms of understanding what I wanted from life and what would help quell the restlessness within me. I had no one to confide in and share my anxieties with.

Battling the depression demon

My Story, Sep '15

Pallav Bonerjee continues his series of personal narratives on psychology, people and destiny, this time in collaboration with a patient who provides his perspective on depression

All photo credits: Vahista Dastoor

When I started collecting my thoughts on depression as a mental illness and how strongly it affects the life of an individual, I couldn’t help falling back on some of the many anecdotal instances narrated to me by patients during their interactions with me as a therapist. I have tried to recreate some of them here with the intention of allowing others a glimpse into the life of an individual suffering from depression. I have also tried to collaborate for the first time with a patient who I felt could provide a unique and invaluable perspective on depression.

Doodle with dad

My Story, Aug '15
Debasmita Dasgupta’s artistic venture, mY FaTHer Illustrations, is a child rights campaign based on illustrated father-daughter stories. Started in 2014, it takes a fun step forward this month

Copyright for all artworks: mY FaTHer
Illustrations by Debasmita Dasgupta

It all started with one small step. One Sunday afternoon I came across a story of a father, who despite all odds never gave up the courage to defend the rights of his daughter. His story became the turning point in my life. I knew I wanted to do something but was caught between ‘what’ and ‘how’. That’s when my red sketchbook and pencil caught my eyes.

Before long I had taken the first step. I had illustrated my first father-daughter story and shared it online to spread some inspiration. The journey of mY FaTHer Illustrations continued as I kept looking for moving father-daughter stories from across the globe. Some I found; some found me. Platforms like Varta helped immensely to spread the word (click here).

Through the prism of gender diversity

My Story, Jul '15

Pallav Bonerjee continues his series of personal narratives on psychology, people and destiny, this time on the need to do away with biases around gender and sexuality

Artwork credit: Himanshu Patra

From our very early childhood years, we are taught by our parents, elders and teachers to evaluate almost everything from the ‘good-bad’ and ‘right-wrong’ perspective. It is an essential component of the socialisation process, where we learn to stay away from the ‘bad/wrong’ and work towards all that is considered ‘good/right’ for us. Through consistent use of rewards and punishments, we are primed to identify objects, activities, places, events, situations and people through that very same lens, judging them quickly and modifying our actions accordingly. We hardly ever try to find the basis of these evaluations, mainly because we may be too young to ask at the time they are being formed. Gradually, they become part of our value systems and belief patterns, thereby shaping our attitudes. It is a very efficient process; one that helps us with decision making on a day-to-day basis effortlessly. So that, effortful thinking is preserved mainly for the more important and bigger decisions that would affect our lives.

Pride and angst in Chennai

My Story, Jun '15

The Chennai pride march, now in its 7th year, is headed towards a wider social horizon, writes moulee

Photo credit: moulee

It all started with a single tweet. In early 2013, I tweeted criticising the politics between the queer groups in Chennai. The following week I was in the pride planning meet, discussing how to organise that year's pride parade. The Chennai pride parade (which started in 2009) was then organised by the Chennai Rainbow Coalition (CRC) – an informal collective under which all the organisations, groups and collectives that worked for queer rights in the city gathered.

Senior living: Coming of age

My Story, May '15
Pallav Bonerjee on his tryst with psychology, people and destiny – the fifth in a series of personal narratives

Around June last year, I got an opportunity to acquaint myself with a new concept that seems to be catching up quickly with many elderly in India today. It concerns and seems to address many pressing issues that the elderly face on a daily basis. This concept is known as ‘senior living’ and it has nothing whatsoever to do with the traditional old age homes.

Questioning media gaze

My Story, Mar '15

Kaustav Manna on his experience of participating in a public debate on media portrayal of queer people

Debates are pivotal to human development. Whether it is women’s suffrage or finding a cure for AIDS, debate has been integral to addressing key social concerns. These include the issues of stigma and discrimination lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, intersex and other queer communities in India have to grapple with. I was part of a recent debate on the quality of media portrayal of queer people, which is a sensitive issue and has often been prioritized by queer activists as an area of intervention. The debate was organized by Sappho for Equality, a Kolkata-based community initiative dedicated to fight for the cause of lesbians, bisexual women and trans men (female-to-male transgender people). The motion for the debate was ‘Media Sensationalizes LGBTIQ Lives’.

A psychotherapist’s angst

My Story, Feb '15

Pallav Bonerjee on his tryst with psychology, people and destiny – the fourth in a series of personal narratives

I recently made a road trip with my wife to Jaipur. We were very excited about the trip and enjoyed it to the hilt. It was our first journey by road, together. Needless to say, I was also a bit anxious. Before embarking on the journey, I took half a day to get the car checked and serviced. The mechanic cleaned, serviced, tuned and checked the tyres thoroughly. Then he sat in the car for a test drive and as I drove, he primed his ears to a certain whirring noise that seemed to come from the rear right wheel of the car. Something wasn’t right. We got out and he put the car up on the ramp to inspect. After fiddling for a while he concluded that the wheel bearings had lived their life and needed to be replaced with new ones. He took about 15 minutes to fit in the new ones and voila, I was good to go! Neat job, you would say. I agree. But it also got me thinking.

Was it celebration or protest?

Insight, My Story, Jan '15
Drake Fort on a fun-filled yet poignant anti-patriarchy, anti-Section 377 gathering outside Academy of Fine Arts, Kolkata on New Year’s Eve

It was the perfect way to end a New Year’s Eve, with a loud, resounding and cheering “No” to patriarchy! This was the theme that resonated throughout an event titled ‘Call against Patriarchy – Defying Edition 377!’ held on a cold 31st night around a small open-air stage outside the Academy of Fine Arts in Kolkata.  Despite the chill, no one felt the slightest bit frosty. There was fire in our hearts and it burnt brighter as one performance after another furthered our resolve to keep fighting the injustices of a world that militates against anyone who is ‘not male, not heterosexual, not able-bodied, not normative in terms of class, caste, race or religion’.

An ode to my grandparents

My Story, Dec '14

Pallav Bonerjee on his tryst with psychology, people and destiny – the third in a series of personal narratives

I lost my maternal grandmother on the 12th of September this year. It was an ordinary day till the news of her demise came in. I was at office, consulting. The patient sitting in front of me was talking about his compulsive need to check for trace amounts of soap on his scalp after bathing every day, when a phone call from my father broke the news. I was a bit surprised to see his name flash on my phone screen. He usually doesn’t call me during office hours. I instinctively disconnected it with a message that I would get back later and refocussed on my patient. He was narrating about his checking ritual which now involved his wife’s assurance that his scalp was, in fact, perfectly soap-free, at which point he would be satisfied and leave home for office. The phone rang again.

Empathy – the magic dose

My Story, Oct '14
Pallav Bonerjee on his tryst with psychology, people and destiny – the second in a series of personal narratives

I immensely enjoy the process of observing, not because a student of psychology is primarily taught to do so, but since observation by itself is a fulfilling activity. It does not require a formal set-up or high-end tools. It can happen anywhere! I have, since the recent past, started believing that the process of psychological support or therapy may follow a similar path. It is possible to develop a therapeutic alliance or rapport with an individual in the strangest of contexts, even in the absence of a conscious desire to do so and even then, it serves the purpose – of support and help, and may even be extended to change aspects of an individual’s behaviour. The only essential ingredient is the ability to empathise.

Sangram’s ‘Ramdhanu Milan Utsav’

My Story, Sep '14

Aniruddha Dutta on his experience of the ‘2nd Rainbow Festival of Unity’ at Baharampur

It was a cloudy, rainy Sunday evening in Baharampur, a small town that is the headquarters of the district of Murshidabad in West Bengal. The mood was sombre among the participants who had gathered for the ‘Ramdhanu Milan Utsav’ – Baharampur’s version of the annual lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) pride walks and festivals held in many Indian cities. The event, which entered its second year in 2014, was organized by Madhya Banglar Sangram, a community-based organization that works with the transgender and other gender or sexually variant communities of Murshidabad, including Kothis and Hijras (terms for feminine-identified people assigned male at birth).

Fulfilment in mental health

My Story, Aug '14
Pallav Bonerjee on his tryst with psychology, people and destiny – the first in a series of personal narratives

I did not choose psychology. It chose me. It allowed me to fool around a bit after high school, attempting competitive exams to get into engineering colleges like most of my friends, without adequate preparation. It gave me sleepless nights when all the entrance exams that I took for engineering closed their doors on my face due to abysmal performance. It gave me a chill down my spine as my best friends started their academic curriculum in professional courses while I stood around clueless, not knowing how to get back to studies again. It made me feel terribly embarrassed in front of family and successful cousins. It got me wondering about subjects I never knew existed. It made be swallow my self-pride and pushed me into exploring colleges I wouldn’t have wanted to be seen dead in. And then, as I was almost about to give up hope, it gracefully accepted me.

Caring for the caregiver

My Story, Apr '14
Shikha Aleya, a founder member of Caregivers Link, writes about informal caregivers and care giving, arguably the most intimate aspect of health care and probably the least appreciated

The room fills up fast though many people participating in the meeting walk slowly, carefully, with the help of mobility aids and the encouragement of family and friends. Some walk alone. There are smiles of recognition and greeting amongst those who have been here before. There is questioning and apprehension on some faces. There is sadness in many, just barely below the surface and that sadness will suddenly hijack the owner, embarrassing and scaring them in an outpouring of tears, a burst of hyper-ventilation. Then smiling faces, concerned, understanding faces, will emerge like many suns from behind the one cloud, to hold, to help, to cajole the hijacked one back into coping. Sometimes this works, to some degree, and sometimes it doesn't.

Campaigning for love with love

My Story, Mar '14
By Bappaditya Mukherjee

Epilogue: It was almost 11 am on December 11, 2013! I was headed for an important meeting for Prantakatha, a non-profit organization I am part of, with an ex-top cop of India and was in a cab in Kolkata. A status message appeared on the Facebook news feed: “Rainbow is just a trick of light”. I was numbed. I realized that the Supreme Court of India must have given its verdict on Section 377 of the Indian Penal Code, which ‘criminalizes’ any form of sexual intercourse ‘against the order of nature’. In effect, it means any emotional expression involving same-sex sexual relations is not legal in India.

A musical journey

My Story, Oct '13
Transgender activist Amrita Sarkar writes about her lifelong pursuit of music, leading to the Songs of the Caravan, the first musical album of its kind in India cut by nine trans women from different parts of the country; a joint initiative of Jeevan Trust, a Delhi-based NGO that works with art and media for social welfare; Abhivyakti Foundation, Delhi; and PlanetRomeo Foundation, The Netherlands.

Music is an eternal and universal medium that brings peace of mind. My journey with music started a long time ago when I was a child and my mother appointed a music teacher for me to learn Rabindra Sangeet. My mother had a great impact on my life. She used to tell me there were no human emotions or feelings that Rabindranath Tagore had not talked about. She could not complete her own music course because of higher studies and family responsibilities. But the values and love for music that she inculcated in me seemed to help her fulfill her dreams. I was also enthusiastic to know what music was all about and why Tagore was so important.